poetry, trails of thought


If vulnerability is no disability, and does not equal


why should disability equal disability?  Why can’t it


equal a strength?

And what if someone had the mental ability to turn

off and on at the flick of a

switch (this I think I’ve mentioned previously, but

it bears mentioning again) a particular disability

which allowed for hugely important results

without the downsides of hugely negative



Let me take my case in particular point:

in creating in my mind the conditions for a

flat hierarchy of


I keep in constant stasis the possible and

potential connections that exist.

This is a necessary condition of being human:

all of us do it;

all of us think like this;

all of us can think like this, if we learn to …


But in my case it led to mental breakdown,

from which I recovered via medication and

simple time: the time one needs to

heal one’s wounds;

the time one needs to

wheel around;

the time one needs to


turn to prior ways;

the time one needs for time

to have

the time it needs to be as properly as it must.




So in my particular case my ability to turn off

all filter led me to see the landscape as one

huge connected device: not the web, this time,

but the world in 3D – way before 3D virtual reality

ever existed.




So this is a powerful ability: not a disability at all:

except where it makes it impossible to live

my life: except where it makes it inviable to love

my people: except where this thinking stops

its blessed ability to switch off in time.




And so given this ability I think I have quite weirdly,

to see connections, to justify their relationship with

a convincing logic –

whether real or not; whether happened or untrue;

whether something or not which we can compare

and contrast

with each other in affection –

and then disconnect manually the

brain that whirrs behind the connecting and making

of potential links amongst ideas few people

would see connected (without, I am saying, some

much clearer and cogent background information),

so that the person behind all this connecting and

making can separately enjoy a separately fulfilling

and loving




means that certain implications for

certain mental illness may actually be rather

astonishing and profound.




For I wonder if it’s really possible to suggest

that at the flick of a [brain] switch, the conditions

which make a disability wondrous can be disconnected

with sufficient margin to ensure it doesn’t become

harmful …




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s