Fresh-Eyed Mils (from the 22nd April 2016, rechristened the Fave Em[ploy]{meant} blog) is a continuation of a project which I started in December 2015.  I was looking to write myself into a better sense of myself.  You can find more about that story here.

In a way, what you can find at Mils’ Ad Hoc blog is my never-properly-written juvenilia.  All the things I needed to say and write and speak out about, which never got entirely spoken, written and said: things whose weight gradually accumulated inside my being and drove me to serious illness in 2003, and then almost so (in retrospect) in 2015 itself.

I’m better for having written out my sadnesses about broken hearts and love and unrequited existence: all of which still stands as it was; all of whose realities still exist within my person.

But although I have hurt myself a lot, and have hurt others too much more than I should ever have, I have realised there is an important difference between resignation and acceptance – and I have even got to the point where proper reconciliation is now my goal.  It will not be easy, because the pain I caused and suffered from and engineered and bore with so much difficulty is all still there; is all still present.  But if any lasting kindnesses are to be done, then reconciliation – after its companion of truth – must slowly but surely be facilitated and enabled.

The purpose, then, of Fresh-Eyed Mils/Fave Em[ploy]{meant}, my Part 2/3 if you like of the lifeworklab.uk project, is to write, not wrong – to do good, not bad.

Even when bad appears to so successfully surround us; even when hope appears to recede so fully.

Fresh eyes on eternal dilemmas: so why not?





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  1. Pingback: lifeworklab.uk (II): the Fresh-Eyed Mils blog | [Mils' Life/Work Lab.]

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